Cobwebs of the mind

It has been more than two months now since I blogged anything. So this is more of “Hey I am still alive, if you care to know” kinda post. So what have I been up to the last couple of months ?...nothing much apart from pretending to work that is.

The humor part of me has either taken a hiatus or taken leave for good. No news excites me these days. There was plenty to parody about, the Indian elections for one thing. But I simply could not get to write anything about it. Or for that matter, I haven’t been doing anything else either, it has been a monotony that begs a break.

Sometimes I wonder if the cobwebs of the mind are becoming too strong to let the thoughts through. Any new thought that dares to seek redemption through the strokes of the keyboard seem to die a suffocating death in the maze of these cobwebs that is getting dense everyday.

Cynicism, anger, sarcasm, despondency all seem to take turns in weaving their strands around any thought that germinates and they relent not till the thought meets its demise as a fleeting memory of what could have been.

What could have been and what is !!, two simple states that the mind flits across ever so often in an effort at reconciling the difference that separates them - through fantasies, through imagination, through hope. And finally assimilate the irreconcilable into the individual’s weltanschauung. Every lost thought, each futile action, each latent intent moulds the mind ever so slightly and tugs it towards acceptance - the acceptance of immutable fatalism.

Where fatalism exists, there lurks fear. The fear of inevitability that crushes emotions less strong and all that remains is cynicism, anger, sarcasm, despondency as they go about weaving ever stronger webs in the mind.

What started off as an update post is turning out to be an indecipherable philosophical rant that, frankly, I am not too sure I understand myself.

Simply put, I am just hoping this phase is going to pass