Managing Stress

Stress is a four letter word that makes your brain go all wonky like, for example, it hampers your ability to count the number of letters in a word. And in this modern world of constant pressure, stress can be a serious problem.

Being a well informed and extremely well read professional, I shall, in this post, counsel you on how to handle stress. By the way, did I mention that stress can also make one delusional ?

The simplest and the most effective stress buster is to pick up a hockey stick and go pummel the people who get on your nerves like the income tax guys, stock analysts and Navjot Singh Siddhu. But unfortunately, the law does not permit us this pleasure, although I suspect that it would make an exception on Siddhu.

So let’s turn to more traditional methods of stress management. There are a few simple rules to manage stress which I shall elaborate below

Rule 1: Share it

Stress, unlike money, is a lot more fun when you spread it around. Always look out for people who you can share your stress with. This will not bring down your stress levels but it ensures that others feel just as miserable as you do.

“Hey, the boss is mad at you for not finishing your module yesterday”
“What the !!, didn’t we have an agreement that you would complete my module since I covered for your absence in the afternoon the day before”
“ Oh yeah !!, now I remember…. Ooops”


Rule 2: Pick up a habit

It is a well proven fact that alcohol and cigarettes go a long way in reducing stress. Of course, people will tell you that drinking and smoking is also going to reduce the number of years of your life. Seriously, is this really an issue ?, think about it, the years that you are going to loose are the years from your old age. When you are 85 wearing an adult diaper and with no bladder control, do you think “Thank God, I did not smoke or drink otherwise I may have croaked at 60 and not have lived to see this wonderful day where I can wet myself and not remember it”.
Have I convinced you that beating stress now is better than living longer ?. So go ahead and pick up a few bad habits now and get rid of old age before it is too late.

Rule 3: Have a diversion

Rule number 2 is mostly useful at the end of the day. At other times, it may not always be appreciated. For example, when stressed out in the middle of the day during work, going out for a vodka shot is probably not a good idea. So have a quick-fix diversion activity something like, I don’t know…say…blogging. Be sure to vent out all your personal and professional frustrations in the blog and also be sure to use a pseudonym, just in case you vent out your frustrations against your friends (“Rascals, never bother to call me up”) or your colleagues (“I do all their work”) or your spouse (“Biggest mistake of my life”). Feels good, doesn’t it ??

So there, if you follow the rules above, I guarantee you that all your stress will be gone and you can go back to being the casual, carefree person you used to be.

Because now you will have no friends, no job and your spouse would have thrown you out.