Friday, August 24, 2007

Morning Travails

There is a profound ancient Chinese proverb that goes "Never overestimate the amount of toothpaste left in the tube". Oh alright, it is not ancient nor is it Chinese, I just made it up. We all know that ancient Chinese never brushed their teeth, that's why they invented toothpicks.

But you have to admit that it is profound. Anybody who has made the mistake of not buying a new tube until it is too late realizes the grave implication of running out of paste.

I ended up in that situation. Every morning, there was this harmless, innocent looking tube slowly being drained off its contents. And with each passing day, the tube became more and more disfigured and it literally seemed to beg to be delivered from its misery. But I continued to ignore all the warning signs. I would battle heroically to cajole the last remnants of paste out of its badly beaten body until it relented and gave in. So each day, the tube would end up in a different shape than the previous day, sometimes like a pear, sometimes like 3.2 and sometimes like Tushar Kapoor with a bad hip problem.

But today, I just could not succeed in spite of trying a two pronged approach which involved stomping and yelling in turns. However nothing worked and I was forced to do what any self respecting man would have done, use an alternative instead....soap !!. Hey, it works for the body, why not for the mouth. But it turns out that self respecting men are morons. Soap is a bad idea especially if you use the same one that you wash your clothes with...and you can't enjoy eating it either. Apparently, they never thought of making it taste good, just in case somebody wants to use it to…you know…not wash clothes.

Anyway, after a long battle with foam, I finally finished brushing. For what it's worth, I have learnt my lesson now....I have decided that such a thing will never come to pass again. Next time, I am trying shampoo instead...

And if you are complaining that toothpicks are not exactly a Chinese invention, all I say to you is "May you run out of paste"

6 comments:

preeti said...

lol :)))))))) i just wish you had paid more attention in the chemistry class ! :)))))))) well, a friend here tell me that he has tried the shaving cream !!!!! ok...so leave that out if case it's in your list ! :)))))))

Preeti Shenoy said...

Ha ha ha..Mebbe you could have just used a wet towel wrapped around your finger--and then mouthwash.Try it!It works!!

Saaveri... said...

very funny this one.. soap,shampoo, next shaving cream..yuck!!! why did u leave out neem sticks ? they work,dont they ?

anyway, just said in jest..a really funny one!

wonder what Tushar kapoor will say to his 'disfigured tube of paste' ? am just laughing at this post.. thanks...

Aprameya said...

I am happy that people who have commented enjoyed it. See, I do my bit in promoting world peace. You cannot start a war if you are laughing, can you ?. Is that enough for my Nobel peace prize or should I write another post....

Pramod said...

U know what, next time ur toothpaste runs out try chewing gum!!!! it works like a charm!!!!

Sundari said...

LOL :)) Too good. Wonder why I didn't look at ur blog till now. Please keep blogging. It is not easy to make people laugh. You have it in you. And I would love to see more and more blogs under "Laugh out Loud" label.