An affair to remember

One of my longest relationships came to an end this weekend. It was heartbreaking to say the least. But I had to do it, the holes on my t-shirt became so big that a freight train could pass through them. And it was with great difficulty that I brought myself to discard it.

I am sure all of you have one such wardrobe jewel that you simply cannot part with. This t-shirt was with me for 9 long years and has served in various capacities like sometimes doubling up as a towel to dry my hands with and sometimes to wipe the table when I got too lazy to find a table cloth and all this (and I am not proud of this) while being an active t-shirt on me (Oh, shut up and stop wincing, as if you never did it !!). But still, in spite of its multipurpose existence it barely showed any signs of aging at all except for some stubborn stains that came with all the wiping.

Going out into the neighbourhood with this piece of clothing on was a real test of bravery. I would catch people staring at me probably wondering if they should toss a coin towards me. But fashion gurus don’t get turned off by petty distractions because we fashion gurus are always on the lookout for new ways of publicly embarrassing ourselves…or as we call it….making new style statements. So I bear no ill feelings toward any of those people with a diminished sense of fashion but I do ask them that they at least have the decency to not point at me when laughing their guts out.

Anyway, over the past few months, the t-shirt finally started giving way. A tiny hole first made its appearance by strategically locating itself right in the midriff area. And then it brought its friends along, so all at once, there were so many of them that it was like they were having a college reunion. And every time I wore my tee, a few of them would come together to form a bigger hole, and before I knew it, it was ‘Holes Incorporated’.

When you have more hole than cloth, it is a clear indication that it’s time for you to say goodbye. So after a few moments of ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ talk with my tee, I threw it into the dumpster.

Wait a minute, I have a better idea. All I need to do is become immensely popular (because you will tell your friends about this blog who will then tell their friends) and then put my t-shirt for sale on E-bay. When a chewed up gum by Britney Spears can get big bucks, I am sure my tee can do well too.

Then again maybe not since Britney had a lot of other antics going for her that I not even dare try.