Lessons in Friendship

Of all relationships, friendship is the most valuable one especially if you have friends who can lend you money and think that you will one day pay them back.
Mr. RelationshipMan shall today advise you on tips to keep the bond of friendship alive.

Lesson 1 :

As you grow older, the time that you spend on the phone with your friends drastically reduces. And it becomes that much more difficult to find reasons to call up your friends. But it is necessary that when you do call, you have a reason and not an excuse. An excuse cannot ensure a meaningful conversation. Here is an illustration for your convenience

Excuse: "Hi, I just called to check if I forgot my keys at your place"

Reason: "Hi, I heard that you broke your leg. Are you able to walk around ?, if so could you check if I have forgotten my keys at your place"

See the difference ?. It is very important that you wait till your friend breaks a leg.

Lesson 2 :

Always complement friends when they deserve one. Say things to boost their self confidence but at the same time give them an honest opinion to prove that you have their best interests on your mind "Wow, you look very attractive today, you would look even better if you get yourself a nose job".
On second thought, don't mix the compliment and the honest opinion in the same sentence.

Lesson 3 :

Another way to keep a friend circle alive is to always bitch about common friends when they are not around..."he is such a smart ass, always advising us on morality...let's steal some money from his purse the next time he goes to the bathroom".
This is how you develop stronger bonding. This is how you buy the next can of beer.

Lesson 4 :

Do not forget to wish your friends on their special days like their birthday. Remind them that they are that much closer to a hip replacement surgery. Try and buy a nice present if possible.
“Happy birthday buddy, here……I bought you a can of beer.”

Lesson 5 :

The longer your friendship, the more casual your friends become. This means that they are going to say things about you that may not necessarily be encouraging even though you know in the bottom of your heart that they are a bunch of lying dingbats. For instance, I know that I sing well but my friends tell me that I sound like a drain being flushed. In such circumstances, you should always act as though you are totally cool with criticism.

But remember to secretly plot on how to break their leg. It may not help your friendship but at least you will now have a reason to call them up.