Uncomfortable Moment 1
It so often happens in the workplace when you see this other colleague walking your way, both of you know each other but not enough to stop and have a conversation. That leaves just a smile and a ‘hi’. But the important part is the timing of when you do that. If you have eye contact too early when the other person is still a distance away, then you will be forced to say ‘hi’ much earlier and then keep smiling on and off till you both pass each other, an awkward situation for both. So we normally pretend that we haven’t seen the other person and continue to walk towards each other, developing an interest in the paint on the walls or a new found fascination for the shape of the tiles on the floor and then when we are close enough, acknowledge each other and get done with the mandatory smiles.
Uncomfortable Moment 2
How many times have you spoken to someone but for the life of you cannot recall the person’s name. But by then you have spoken long enough and you have passed the moment where you can ask their name. So it would continue when you meet the person again, since you did not ask the first time, it would be too embarrassing to ask for their name now. In my case, I would meet this one person on the bus whose name I could never remember. Once I asked him for his email address, hoping that it would have his name and not some weird id like voodooprince@yahoo. It worked, the id did have his name that I promptly forgot soon after. I met him again on the bus a few months down the line, now I could not use the email id trick, so this time I asked him for his visiting card, it worked again but I soon lost the card (seriously how many visiting cards have you retained) and forgot his name yet again. I don’t know what I would do if I bump into him the next time (one can ask for visiting cards and email addresses only so many times without sounding creepy)
Uncomfortable Moment 3
This is another incident on the bus where I saw this young lady boarding the bus and as all the seats were taken, she remained standing. I was seated and on seeing this women, I was in a dilemma of whether to give up my seat for her or not (hold your thoughts, it had nothing do with trying to get attention alright). See, this lady had a slight paunch and the problem was that I was not sure whether she was pregnant or she was merely skipping her gym classes. If I did give up my seat and the lady was not pregnant, she would feel pretty bad and I could end up feeling stupid (it’s not like I gave up my seat to a senior citizen). So considering the pros and cons, I decided to remain seated and hoped I was right. Well, a few months down the line, I saw this woman again and it was apparent she was indeed pregnant. I still feel bad about not having given up my seat that day.
So much for those uncomfortable moments we all encounter. Do you have any?. By the way, come to think of it, voodooprince is a great mail id to have.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Remembering Ramanujan
“An equation to me is meaningless unless it expresses a thought of God” – Srinivasa Ramanujan (Dec 22 1887 – April 26 1920 )
A man whose leaps of inspiration enriched the domain of number theory so much so that research into his works are still in progress. Only as recently as February, a group of mathematicians announced that they have finally solved the mystery of the mock theta functions that Ramanujan wrote about, just two months before his demise (http://www.news.wisc.edu/13497.html).
It has been almost a hundred years now since he parted ways with the world and we are yet to see a genius of his caliber in mathematics from India. We do keep reading about precocious kids who can add and multiply numbers really fast and somehow this gets portrayed as mathematics. These gifted people however extraordinary they may seem make no more mathematicians as knowing the names of planes makes one a pilot.
It is a pity that we have not been able to produce another genius of his kind in all these years. We may have not uncovered many Ramanujans who have faded into obscurity and mediocrity due to lack of encouragement and focus.
The current education system does not offer this luxury. We almost lost Ramanujan to the rigidity of the system.
Ramanujan was never able to pass his higher education simply because the system refused to take cognizance of his genius in mathematics and insisted that he pass every subject in his course. It was only persistence on his part and that of his friends, most notably Professor Hardy that he was able to achieve what he did in his brief lifetime.
The gift of mathematics is a rare one indeed and it would be a shame if we let these prodigies go undetected or force fitted to be compliant with the crowd around them. Because when it comes to mathematics, there are only two kinds of people…those who know maths and those who don’t. And we simply cannot afford to lose those who know….
This post is in memory of the genius that was Ramanujan.
Post Script: If you would like to know more, I strongly recommend the book ‘The man who knew infinity’ by Robert Kanigel. It is one of the best biographies I have read. Kanigel has handled some of the sensibilities and the problems unique to the Indian psyche extremely well without being judgmental about them.
A man whose leaps of inspiration enriched the domain of number theory so much so that research into his works are still in progress. Only as recently as February, a group of mathematicians announced that they have finally solved the mystery of the mock theta functions that Ramanujan wrote about, just two months before his demise (http://www.news.wisc.edu/13497.html).
It has been almost a hundred years now since he parted ways with the world and we are yet to see a genius of his caliber in mathematics from India. We do keep reading about precocious kids who can add and multiply numbers really fast and somehow this gets portrayed as mathematics. These gifted people however extraordinary they may seem make no more mathematicians as knowing the names of planes makes one a pilot.
It is a pity that we have not been able to produce another genius of his kind in all these years. We may have not uncovered many Ramanujans who have faded into obscurity and mediocrity due to lack of encouragement and focus.
The current education system does not offer this luxury. We almost lost Ramanujan to the rigidity of the system.
Ramanujan was never able to pass his higher education simply because the system refused to take cognizance of his genius in mathematics and insisted that he pass every subject in his course. It was only persistence on his part and that of his friends, most notably Professor Hardy that he was able to achieve what he did in his brief lifetime.
The gift of mathematics is a rare one indeed and it would be a shame if we let these prodigies go undetected or force fitted to be compliant with the crowd around them. Because when it comes to mathematics, there are only two kinds of people…those who know maths and those who don’t. And we simply cannot afford to lose those who know….
This post is in memory of the genius that was Ramanujan.
Post Script: If you would like to know more, I strongly recommend the book ‘The man who knew infinity’ by Robert Kanigel. It is one of the best biographies I have read. Kanigel has handled some of the sensibilities and the problems unique to the Indian psyche extremely well without being judgmental about them.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Me and the stock market
The first rule of the stock market is “There is no stock price so low that you cant buy some more before it gets even lower” - yeah, you can quote me on this.
This has been my mantra for stock market investments and it has not failed me ever. Today, I can claim to have discovered the fastest way to turn 100 bucks to 30 and it’s tax free !!!. Even a ring tailed lemur can invest better than I can.
I shall share some tips of investing that you can follow to automatically qualify for membership to my ‘Ring tailed lemurs may be smarter than us but at least we watch CNBC’ club.
But before investing in the stock market, you need to understand some basics of how the market works. Basically, the market is a vast right wing conspiracy that works exclusively to spite you. Secondly, the market does not care how intelligent you are but if you are consistently loosing money, then in all probability, you are a moron.
Now that we have our basics out of the way, let’s get to the actual investment strategies. The idea is that you narrow down on some select stocks that you would want to invest in and then finally choose one. There are a couple of approaches to do this.
The first approach is to discuss stocks with your friends. Keep track of how many jargons your friends use and the one who uses the most should be considered the wisest and his or her advice should be followed without question. I have listed some useful jargons and how to interpret them, for your convenience
‘PE Ratio’ – ‘Huh ?’
‘Book Value’ – ‘Huh ?’
‘Sensex’ – ‘Who the hell is sen and why do I care about his personal life ? ’
Another approach is to listen to a set of people known as ‘investment advisers’. Investment advisers combine years of experience with naturally occurring stupidity and come up with advice that ring tailed lemurs are extremely wary of.
Having chosen either of these approaches, by now you should have narrowed down on a set of stocks. To pick one, there are various scientific methods to go by. You could use complicated chart analysis techniques or thorough reading of the company’s balance sheets. But the most successful method involves a coin.
Once you pick the stock (you should use the coin multiple times to verify that your choice is indeed correct), invest as much money as you can afford. However it is strongly advised that you keep some money aside for purposes that will become clear as you read on.
After you have put in the money comes the most important part of investing which really is a test of your character. Markets always reward patience. So you patiently wait and wait and wait till....the next market crash. And then rush like mad and sell everything you have bought.
It is natural that you will be pretty depressed about all the money you lost but remember we, wisely, did set some money aside earlier to handle this very situation. Now, you take that money and head to the nearest bar.
That’s about all there is to the stock market. In short, it’s the most expensive way to get sloshed….
So liked my advice? Welcome to the club...hey, it is happy hours at the pub down the street…
This has been my mantra for stock market investments and it has not failed me ever. Today, I can claim to have discovered the fastest way to turn 100 bucks to 30 and it’s tax free !!!. Even a ring tailed lemur can invest better than I can.
I shall share some tips of investing that you can follow to automatically qualify for membership to my ‘Ring tailed lemurs may be smarter than us but at least we watch CNBC’ club.
But before investing in the stock market, you need to understand some basics of how the market works. Basically, the market is a vast right wing conspiracy that works exclusively to spite you. Secondly, the market does not care how intelligent you are but if you are consistently loosing money, then in all probability, you are a moron.
Now that we have our basics out of the way, let’s get to the actual investment strategies. The idea is that you narrow down on some select stocks that you would want to invest in and then finally choose one. There are a couple of approaches to do this.
The first approach is to discuss stocks with your friends. Keep track of how many jargons your friends use and the one who uses the most should be considered the wisest and his or her advice should be followed without question. I have listed some useful jargons and how to interpret them, for your convenience
‘PE Ratio’ – ‘Huh ?’
‘Book Value’ – ‘Huh ?’
‘Sensex’ – ‘Who the hell is sen and why do I care about his personal life ? ’
Another approach is to listen to a set of people known as ‘investment advisers’. Investment advisers combine years of experience with naturally occurring stupidity and come up with advice that ring tailed lemurs are extremely wary of.
Having chosen either of these approaches, by now you should have narrowed down on a set of stocks. To pick one, there are various scientific methods to go by. You could use complicated chart analysis techniques or thorough reading of the company’s balance sheets. But the most successful method involves a coin.
Once you pick the stock (you should use the coin multiple times to verify that your choice is indeed correct), invest as much money as you can afford. However it is strongly advised that you keep some money aside for purposes that will become clear as you read on.
After you have put in the money comes the most important part of investing which really is a test of your character. Markets always reward patience. So you patiently wait and wait and wait till....the next market crash. And then rush like mad and sell everything you have bought.
It is natural that you will be pretty depressed about all the money you lost but remember we, wisely, did set some money aside earlier to handle this very situation. Now, you take that money and head to the nearest bar.
That’s about all there is to the stock market. In short, it’s the most expensive way to get sloshed….
So liked my advice? Welcome to the club...hey, it is happy hours at the pub down the street…
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Infratructure Woes
Picture this, you are driving along on the flyover on Richmond circle and right there, bang in the middle of the stretch, without any warning you see…that’s right....Sunil Shetty doing the Macarena…ha ha, I am kidding of course, we all know Sunil Shetty can’t dance. Seriously, you would see a traffic signal.
A traffic signal on top of a flyover !!. Pardon my nitpicking but aren’t flyovers built to avoid traffic signals ?. This is a clear indication that we need to proactively address the issue of crumbling infrastructure in Bangalore. We must act immediately.
Now that we have decided to do something, we can feel good about ourselves and go back to our daily lives. No wait !!, this time we all have to chip in if we have any hope of preventing Sunil Shetty from dancing or improving the state of roads here.
Before beginning any activity, it is important to have what is called a 'plan', this is a document that would clearly list all the people who we can blame if we fail.
Once we have done that, the next step is to come up with an estimate. An estimate is a number that is arrived at after a detailed analysis of the existing problems. Analysis basically comes from two latin words 'anal' and 'lysis' where 'lysis' means 'Pulling a number from your'. This has been the time tested approach of coming up with a number as demonstrated by stock market analysts.
After a thorough analysis, we have arrived at a number – 35476. We now need to figure out what this number represents. For all we know, it might be the number of roads, the number of traffic signals or the number of products that Amitabh Bachhan currently endorses.
For the sake of clarity, we shall assume that it indicates the number of potholes and proceed to the execution of the plan.
As a first step, we shall demand vociferously that the name of the city be changed. This will not help the potholes, but will divert attention long enough for us to think of what we should do next. The new name should contain an extra alphabet that subtly alters the phonetic and shall buy us time while people are trying to learn how to pronounce it. I recommend the use of the letter ‘x’, it is the most under utilized alphabet in the English language and it will also feel a lot better in the company of the other ‘high achiever’ alphabets.
In the meantime, I have an excellent idea to handle the potholes. If we can’t get rid of them, we will try to get people to like them. This can be accomplished by naming every pothole in the city and thus giving it an identity. It is a scientifically proven fact that people will begin to like even the most expressionless, inanimate objects as long as it has a name. It can be any name like, say for example, John Abraham. People will thus gradually begin bonding with the potholes that are on their routes and any subsequent attempt to fix them will draw a protest from Arundhati Roy alleging human rights violation.
That then, dear friends, is my master plan for fixing Bangalore’s infrastructure. As for me, it is time to introduce the shock absorbers of my car to ‘Bunty’ on my way home…
A traffic signal on top of a flyover !!. Pardon my nitpicking but aren’t flyovers built to avoid traffic signals ?. This is a clear indication that we need to proactively address the issue of crumbling infrastructure in Bangalore. We must act immediately.
Now that we have decided to do something, we can feel good about ourselves and go back to our daily lives. No wait !!, this time we all have to chip in if we have any hope of preventing Sunil Shetty from dancing or improving the state of roads here.
Before beginning any activity, it is important to have what is called a 'plan', this is a document that would clearly list all the people who we can blame if we fail.
Once we have done that, the next step is to come up with an estimate. An estimate is a number that is arrived at after a detailed analysis of the existing problems. Analysis basically comes from two latin words 'anal' and 'lysis' where 'lysis' means 'Pulling a number from your'. This has been the time tested approach of coming up with a number as demonstrated by stock market analysts.
After a thorough analysis, we have arrived at a number – 35476. We now need to figure out what this number represents. For all we know, it might be the number of roads, the number of traffic signals or the number of products that Amitabh Bachhan currently endorses.
For the sake of clarity, we shall assume that it indicates the number of potholes and proceed to the execution of the plan.
As a first step, we shall demand vociferously that the name of the city be changed. This will not help the potholes, but will divert attention long enough for us to think of what we should do next. The new name should contain an extra alphabet that subtly alters the phonetic and shall buy us time while people are trying to learn how to pronounce it. I recommend the use of the letter ‘x’, it is the most under utilized alphabet in the English language and it will also feel a lot better in the company of the other ‘high achiever’ alphabets.
In the meantime, I have an excellent idea to handle the potholes. If we can’t get rid of them, we will try to get people to like them. This can be accomplished by naming every pothole in the city and thus giving it an identity. It is a scientifically proven fact that people will begin to like even the most expressionless, inanimate objects as long as it has a name. It can be any name like, say for example, John Abraham. People will thus gradually begin bonding with the potholes that are on their routes and any subsequent attempt to fix them will draw a protest from Arundhati Roy alleging human rights violation.
That then, dear friends, is my master plan for fixing Bangalore’s infrastructure. As for me, it is time to introduce the shock absorbers of my car to ‘Bunty’ on my way home…
Monday, March 12, 2007
The joy of bird watching
My latest hobby is bird watching. Did you know that crows and parrots are not the only birds around ?. Yeah I know, I was astounded as well. Apparently, there are many more species. So apart from crows and parrots, I can now identify blue birds (“Hey look, blue bird !!”), green birds (“Wow, green bird !!”) and ostriches. Though there are not many ostriches near where I stay, I am sure if one of them strays in from Africa, I will be able to recognize it (“Hey look, Mallika Sherawat !!, Oh wait, those are ostrich legs”)
I am sure you are just as amazed as I am by this incredible knowledge that I seem to have amassed on birds. All thanks to this field guide I bought a few weeks ago. The only problem is that the damn birds never appear in the order that they are illustrated in the book. And there always seems to be some subtle difference between what’s illustrated and the bird that I am looking at like a white spot near the tail that’s not there in the book. For all I know, the bird might have sat on a piece of chalk and here am really excited that it’s a new species and will probably be named after me or my pen name ( 'newbirdus apremeyas' ) but no such luck so far.
So during the weekend, I go around with a pair of binoculars around my neck looking intently at the bird on the wire only to realize that it’s a crow (“Hey look, black bird”) and also realize that there are a bunch of people looking intently at me wondering what kind of a dork looks at a crow with binoculars. “I am trying to find out if it’s a male or a female”, I say trying to avoid the embarrassment. They laugh. Next time, I am going to use the binoculars on them.
The basic idea of bird identification is that when you spot a bird, you rapidly go through every page of your field guide and try to match the bird with every picture in the book and the moment you get a match, you have the bird. I understand this is not the most efficient method and it can get frustrating and hence it is important to buy at least fifteen field guides, I am already on my fourth. It is not easy and at least on two occasions, I matched women in saris to peacocks, not to mention the risk of looking at them through my binoculars.
No folks, bird watching has its risks and it is not for the faint hearted. But when done right, which I am working on, it can be a really fulfilling experience. Oh there, at last I think I see a peacock, where are my binoculars….
I am sure you are just as amazed as I am by this incredible knowledge that I seem to have amassed on birds. All thanks to this field guide I bought a few weeks ago. The only problem is that the damn birds never appear in the order that they are illustrated in the book. And there always seems to be some subtle difference between what’s illustrated and the bird that I am looking at like a white spot near the tail that’s not there in the book. For all I know, the bird might have sat on a piece of chalk and here am really excited that it’s a new species and will probably be named after me or my pen name ( 'newbirdus apremeyas' ) but no such luck so far.
So during the weekend, I go around with a pair of binoculars around my neck looking intently at the bird on the wire only to realize that it’s a crow (“Hey look, black bird”) and also realize that there are a bunch of people looking intently at me wondering what kind of a dork looks at a crow with binoculars. “I am trying to find out if it’s a male or a female”, I say trying to avoid the embarrassment. They laugh. Next time, I am going to use the binoculars on them.
The basic idea of bird identification is that when you spot a bird, you rapidly go through every page of your field guide and try to match the bird with every picture in the book and the moment you get a match, you have the bird. I understand this is not the most efficient method and it can get frustrating and hence it is important to buy at least fifteen field guides, I am already on my fourth. It is not easy and at least on two occasions, I matched women in saris to peacocks, not to mention the risk of looking at them through my binoculars.
No folks, bird watching has its risks and it is not for the faint hearted. But when done right, which I am working on, it can be a really fulfilling experience. Oh there, at last I think I see a peacock, where are my binoculars….
Monday, March 5, 2007
Cinema , the great entertainer
A few weeks ago, I was unfortunate enough to watch another
braindead movie (or as Jack Nicholson would say "Is there
another kind ?" ). The almost empty theatre should have been
my first clue but I braved through hoping that this was a
niche movie appealing to those with refined tastes or as I
came to realize later..to those with IQ levels of a mop.
The movie was so bad that three people died in the theatre
and the fourth one started eating the seat cushion. That's
when I decided if anybody can make a movie why can't I ?.
Obviously, talent was not a criteria and that would make me
perfect for the job since I had none anyway.
The first step to making a movie is to get yourself a good
script, find a good writer, work and rework on the script and
then finally when it is ready.....throw it away. Because, you
see, nobody cares about the script. Once you have done that,
you are officially into the movie making club.
Next comes finalizing the cast. The heroine of the movie can
be anybody who is willing to kiss Emran Hashmi (this would
probably cost more but we will deduct it from Emran's paycheck)
To play it safe, we shall stick to the time tested plot of
good guy vs bad guy.
Our hero (apparently he has a learning disability as seen
by the fact that he is still in college though he looks like
he is eligible for senior citizen's discount) falls head over
heels for the heroine(it can happen since he moves around
without a walking stick). The heroine having just attained
the right to vote is all excited to cast her ballot in the
next elections but until that time decides to romance our hero.
The action begins when the village bad guy casts his evil eyes
on our leading lady and decides to carry her away to a fort
nearby and locks the gates to prevent anybody from entering or
leaving (it can be assumed that the fort is self sufficient with
enough water and food for our heroine, the villain, his cronies
and of course the shooting crew)
Now our hero has to scale a 30 foot wall without any help.
This is our chance to add some breath taking stunts. Our hero
does a triple somersault in the reverse and defying gravity,
leaps clear over the wall and lands on the other side.
At this point, you the discerning reader, have a question
"The hero jumps across a 30 foot wall !!!!!!. How does he even.....
know that he won't land on a thorny bush?". Ok, first of all,
stop using so many exclamation marks when you ask a question and
secondly, he does not land on a thorny bush because it is not
there in the script and as you discerning readers would have
realized, WE write the script. We can make the hero land on
whatever we want him to but to keep your logical instincts
satiated, we shall make him land on something that will soften
his fall like a bed of grass or a layer of pillows or,
if he is available, Adnan Sami.
This is the right moment, where we shall have an item number
depicting at least 16 kisses with Emran Hashmi. Item numbers
can be inserted anywhere in a movie but mostly during the times
when the audience is very likely to require a bathroom break.
The item number would feature either Mallika Sherawat or if she
is not willing, Shah Rukh Khan (in which case, we would probably
have to refund the money we deducted from Emran in the fourth
paragraph).
Once the song is done, our hero now begins the climactic fight
against the villain using nothing else but a bucket he finds
lying in a corner. We can have Gulshan Grover playing the villain
and Bobby Deol playing the bucket.
We can even contemplate the hero taking his shirt off after the
fight but seriously it is a little too late to introduce
Sourav Ganguly at this point so we will let the shirt be.
Finally the hero prevails and lives happily ever after with
the heroine.
"Will people even watch such nonsense?", you ask and this time
making sure that you leave out unnecessary exclamation marks.
Well honestly, no. As usual, this movie will probably not be
allowed to be released in Gujarat and it may attract a maximum
of 14 people to the theatres in the rest of the country
(who, by the way, should be tracked down and not be allowed
to breed).
But rest assured my friends, it is not the people here we are
targeting. For us, the intended audience is the NRI community.
It is a fact (as proven by Karan Johar) that the NRIs can watch
absolute rubbish as long as it is overloaded with emotions.
So if you are willing to produce this movie, I can assure you
that your investment is in safe hands.
Now if you will excuse me, I have a seat cushion to finish eating...
braindead movie (or as Jack Nicholson would say "Is there
another kind ?" ). The almost empty theatre should have been
my first clue but I braved through hoping that this was a
niche movie appealing to those with refined tastes or as I
came to realize later..to those with IQ levels of a mop.
The movie was so bad that three people died in the theatre
and the fourth one started eating the seat cushion. That's
when I decided if anybody can make a movie why can't I ?.
Obviously, talent was not a criteria and that would make me
perfect for the job since I had none anyway.
The first step to making a movie is to get yourself a good
script, find a good writer, work and rework on the script and
then finally when it is ready.....throw it away. Because, you
see, nobody cares about the script. Once you have done that,
you are officially into the movie making club.
Next comes finalizing the cast. The heroine of the movie can
be anybody who is willing to kiss Emran Hashmi (this would
probably cost more but we will deduct it from Emran's paycheck)
To play it safe, we shall stick to the time tested plot of
good guy vs bad guy.
Our hero (apparently he has a learning disability as seen
by the fact that he is still in college though he looks like
he is eligible for senior citizen's discount) falls head over
heels for the heroine(it can happen since he moves around
without a walking stick). The heroine having just attained
the right to vote is all excited to cast her ballot in the
next elections but until that time decides to romance our hero.
The action begins when the village bad guy casts his evil eyes
on our leading lady and decides to carry her away to a fort
nearby and locks the gates to prevent anybody from entering or
leaving (it can be assumed that the fort is self sufficient with
enough water and food for our heroine, the villain, his cronies
and of course the shooting crew)
Now our hero has to scale a 30 foot wall without any help.
This is our chance to add some breath taking stunts. Our hero
does a triple somersault in the reverse and defying gravity,
leaps clear over the wall and lands on the other side.
At this point, you the discerning reader, have a question
"The hero jumps across a 30 foot wall !!!!!!. How does he even.....
know that he won't land on a thorny bush?". Ok, first of all,
stop using so many exclamation marks when you ask a question and
secondly, he does not land on a thorny bush because it is not
there in the script and as you discerning readers would have
realized, WE write the script. We can make the hero land on
whatever we want him to but to keep your logical instincts
satiated, we shall make him land on something that will soften
his fall like a bed of grass or a layer of pillows or,
if he is available, Adnan Sami.
This is the right moment, where we shall have an item number
depicting at least 16 kisses with Emran Hashmi. Item numbers
can be inserted anywhere in a movie but mostly during the times
when the audience is very likely to require a bathroom break.
The item number would feature either Mallika Sherawat or if she
is not willing, Shah Rukh Khan (in which case, we would probably
have to refund the money we deducted from Emran in the fourth
paragraph).
Once the song is done, our hero now begins the climactic fight
against the villain using nothing else but a bucket he finds
lying in a corner. We can have Gulshan Grover playing the villain
and Bobby Deol playing the bucket.
We can even contemplate the hero taking his shirt off after the
fight but seriously it is a little too late to introduce
Sourav Ganguly at this point so we will let the shirt be.
Finally the hero prevails and lives happily ever after with
the heroine.
"Will people even watch such nonsense?", you ask and this time
making sure that you leave out unnecessary exclamation marks.
Well honestly, no. As usual, this movie will probably not be
allowed to be released in Gujarat and it may attract a maximum
of 14 people to the theatres in the rest of the country
(who, by the way, should be tracked down and not be allowed
to breed).
But rest assured my friends, it is not the people here we are
targeting. For us, the intended audience is the NRI community.
It is a fact (as proven by Karan Johar) that the NRIs can watch
absolute rubbish as long as it is overloaded with emotions.
So if you are willing to produce this movie, I can assure you
that your investment is in safe hands.
Now if you will excuse me, I have a seat cushion to finish eating...
Monday, February 19, 2007
A weekend with Snakes
After a long time, I had the opportunity to do something I have wanted to for a really long time...to attend a herpetology workshop. No, it has nothing to do with herpes and no, it is not the study of your girlfriend's pets either. It is the study of snakes(actually reptiles and amphibians) and being interested in them from my childhood, I signed up, I also signed my will you know..just in case. It was a three day workshop held by Gerry Martin (if you watch National Geographic, you probably recall that he had his own show for sometime). It was at a farm near Hunsur, in a place called Ratnapuri. The farm abuts a lake and this was an ideal habitat for snakes.
Some of you probably have that look on your face which says how can he even like those slimy, disgusting crawling creatures. Hey, I don't like politicians too but we are talking about snakes here, people. Please stay focused.
I was also secretly hoping that one of these snakes would turn into a beautiful damsel. Hindi movies have shown that this is possible and I see no reason to disbelieve them. I know you are thinking "What a dope, he really thinks a snake is going to turn into Sridevi !!!...what if the snake is male ?". I admit, you have a very valid point there but that's a risk I was willing to take.
The three day workshop dealt with the introductory aspects of snake handling. The first day, we had the opportunity to listen to 'snake shyam' (who was also featured on National Geographic). He drives an auto for a living but rescues snakes for a life. He is quite a character, rings on all his fingers, trinkets and chains around his neck and wrists, long locks of hair and a beard and mustache giving his signature looks. He mentioned an amusing incident, apparently in a fancy dress competition one of the kids who had dressed up like him got the first place while the Jawaharlal Nehru costume came in second. Anyway, it was fun listening to his talk.
Over the next couple of days, we got to handle rat snakes, green vine snakes, checkered keelbacks and of course, the cobras. We learnt how to pick up a cobra using a snake hook and then bag it safely. The Russel's Viper though was out of bounds for us. Gerry demonstrated how to bag one but we were not allowed to try. I got to try picking up a rat snake and I did so many mistakes that if it were a cobra and if you were mentioned in my will, you would be rich by now. Later, I also tried bagging a cobra and it was a pretty exhilarating experience for a first timer.
Finally, the three days were over and it was time to head back home. Back to the city, back to traffic and now back to work. It was a great weekend and worth every moment of it.
Some of you probably have that look on your face which says how can he even like those slimy, disgusting crawling creatures. Hey, I don't like politicians too but we are talking about snakes here, people. Please stay focused.
I was also secretly hoping that one of these snakes would turn into a beautiful damsel. Hindi movies have shown that this is possible and I see no reason to disbelieve them. I know you are thinking "What a dope, he really thinks a snake is going to turn into Sridevi !!!...what if the snake is male ?". I admit, you have a very valid point there but that's a risk I was willing to take.
The three day workshop dealt with the introductory aspects of snake handling. The first day, we had the opportunity to listen to 'snake shyam' (who was also featured on National Geographic). He drives an auto for a living but rescues snakes for a life. He is quite a character, rings on all his fingers, trinkets and chains around his neck and wrists, long locks of hair and a beard and mustache giving his signature looks. He mentioned an amusing incident, apparently in a fancy dress competition one of the kids who had dressed up like him got the first place while the Jawaharlal Nehru costume came in second. Anyway, it was fun listening to his talk.
Over the next couple of days, we got to handle rat snakes, green vine snakes, checkered keelbacks and of course, the cobras. We learnt how to pick up a cobra using a snake hook and then bag it safely. The Russel's Viper though was out of bounds for us. Gerry demonstrated how to bag one but we were not allowed to try. I got to try picking up a rat snake and I did so many mistakes that if it were a cobra and if you were mentioned in my will, you would be rich by now. Later, I also tried bagging a cobra and it was a pretty exhilarating experience for a first timer.
Finally, the three days were over and it was time to head back home. Back to the city, back to traffic and now back to work. It was a great weekend and worth every moment of it.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Culture and Change
Given enough time, any system of practices tends to degrade and lose the essence for which it was created in the first place. And no where else has it manifested itself so apparently as in India. A country where rituals abound and sheer force of habit overcomes reason.
I still remember from school, one stanza from Tagore’s Gitanjali that went something like ‘Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit’. It makes as much sense now as it did when Tagore wrote those lines.
A change in thinking can come about either organically (from within the society, but without explicit effort this would be a pretty slow process since it takes someone to question existing norms and also be influential enough to change them) or the change can come inorganically (if the society comes to interact with another society with a different set of ideas). To quote Swami Vivekananda "There is not one single instance of any civilisation being spontaneous. There was not a race in the world which became civilised unless another civilised race came and mingled with that race." (Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda - Volume 2 - 'Hints on Practical Spirituality’).
It is probably an exaggeration but nonetheless holds truth. Though, he was speaking about this in a spiritual context, it holds just as true when applied to the social context as well.
The United States would probably serve as a very good example in how they have been able to attract talent from different cultures and have been able to forge ahead of most countries.
The British rule of India was one such interaction where we were exposed to a new culture. To their credit, the British were the first to outlaw the barbaric act of sati and among other things introduce English education in India. Raja Ram Mohan Roy’s exposure to western ideas came in handy in shaping his outlook and his reform movement. I would assume the British too had a lot to learn (eastern spirituality, yoga etc).
Today, the Internet is emerging as the virtual civilisation which is constantly evolving and presenting new vistas of thought that can influence and mould behavior of individuals. The beauty of the internet is that people do not actually have to mingle with each other to influence one another. The Internet is probably the most conducive environment (albeit limited in its reach currently) for the creation of new ‘memes’ or for the diffusion of existing ones. Meme mutation is best accomplished by exposure to newer meme sets and the Internet is playing a small but increasingly significant part in this memetic evolution.
A more powerful and effective agency of meme evaluation is the education system. I believe that an atmosphere that allows questioning of preexisting notions should bring about more objective thinking among the participants. This culture of open discussions and objective debates can be nurtured best by incorporating such an approach in our education system wherein our students are encouraged to debate and discuss on issues in an objective way rather than simply accept the things as they are taught. Thus giving an opportunity for examining existing meme sets and either accept or reject them.
This helps create a progressive environment where it becomes possible to scrutinize and hopefully eliminate defective practices and belief sets, thereby evolving popular culture.
I still remember from school, one stanza from Tagore’s Gitanjali that went something like ‘Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit’. It makes as much sense now as it did when Tagore wrote those lines.
A change in thinking can come about either organically (from within the society, but without explicit effort this would be a pretty slow process since it takes someone to question existing norms and also be influential enough to change them) or the change can come inorganically (if the society comes to interact with another society with a different set of ideas). To quote Swami Vivekananda "There is not one single instance of any civilisation being spontaneous. There was not a race in the world which became civilised unless another civilised race came and mingled with that race." (Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda - Volume 2 - 'Hints on Practical Spirituality’).
It is probably an exaggeration but nonetheless holds truth. Though, he was speaking about this in a spiritual context, it holds just as true when applied to the social context as well.
The United States would probably serve as a very good example in how they have been able to attract talent from different cultures and have been able to forge ahead of most countries.
The British rule of India was one such interaction where we were exposed to a new culture. To their credit, the British were the first to outlaw the barbaric act of sati and among other things introduce English education in India. Raja Ram Mohan Roy’s exposure to western ideas came in handy in shaping his outlook and his reform movement. I would assume the British too had a lot to learn (eastern spirituality, yoga etc).
Today, the Internet is emerging as the virtual civilisation which is constantly evolving and presenting new vistas of thought that can influence and mould behavior of individuals. The beauty of the internet is that people do not actually have to mingle with each other to influence one another. The Internet is probably the most conducive environment (albeit limited in its reach currently) for the creation of new ‘memes’ or for the diffusion of existing ones. Meme mutation is best accomplished by exposure to newer meme sets and the Internet is playing a small but increasingly significant part in this memetic evolution.
A more powerful and effective agency of meme evaluation is the education system. I believe that an atmosphere that allows questioning of preexisting notions should bring about more objective thinking among the participants. This culture of open discussions and objective debates can be nurtured best by incorporating such an approach in our education system wherein our students are encouraged to debate and discuss on issues in an objective way rather than simply accept the things as they are taught. Thus giving an opportunity for examining existing meme sets and either accept or reject them.
This helps create a progressive environment where it becomes possible to scrutinize and hopefully eliminate defective practices and belief sets, thereby evolving popular culture.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
In memory of a legend
59 years ago on this day, three bullets from a 9mm beretta ended the life of one of the greatest men ever to have walked on earth. A man whose power of convictions changed the destiny of a nation.
I am an unabashed admirer of the Mahatma.
From my childhood days, I have held Gandhi in high regard. Initially, it was mostly because of what I was told in school. I must confess for a very brief period in school, I did switch over to the other side - that of Gandhi bashers (you see, talking peace and non violence were for wimps and I did not want to be one).
As I read more about this man, what struck me most was his stubbornness of holding on to a principle no matter what the odds. My respect turned into awe. He was fighting a political cause and yet today one can still find books on him in the 'Philosophy' section. It is common to hear Indians referring to 'Rama, Krishna, Gandhi and Buddha' in the same breath. Remember, the other three are generally regarded as Gods and we have a politician creeping into this list.
Christians believe that Christ died on the cross for our sins. As a non-christian, I have not been able to really comprehend that line of thinking. But when I think of Gandhi and how he was killed by someone with an outlook a lot more limited than his, I can understand what christian thought implies.
Once during a short visit to Sydney, on my way back to the Sydney Airport, I tried chatting up with the cab driver who happened to be Turkish and I mentioned about the Australia India cricket match that was being played that day. His reaction was something I least expected, he got pretty wild at cricket, cursing(using some flowery invectives) that this was a game invented by the British and questioned how as an Indian and having been subjugated by them can I still retain love for their game.
The hatred that this man had towards the British is something that I can never share. Violence always leaves a bitter relationship that persists across a much longer time period than the violence itself. Today, if Indians do not harbour animosity towards the British, it is simply because of the efforts of one man who had the courage to act different.
The India today though, still has it's moods of violence, a lot of mess that existed before continues to exist now. The silver lining is that if in spite of all the rot the Indian society is steeped in, if we can have a Gandhi coming out of it, then we must be doing something right.
In 1948 the Nobel Committee decided not to award the Nobel Peace Prize to anyone on the grounds that "there was no suitable living candidate". Gandhi not being awarded the Nobel prize is perhaps the best thing that the Nobel committee has done. Awarding him would have been like trying to measure the earth with a foot long scale.
I do believe that Gandhi was not correct in all his stands and he made his set of mistakes as well but what he did achieve and advocate were far greater than his failures.
Strength comes not from the ability to destroy but from the ability to protect and there in lies the greatness of this man.
Come back Bapu, we need you now as much we have ever needed you before...
I am an unabashed admirer of the Mahatma.
From my childhood days, I have held Gandhi in high regard. Initially, it was mostly because of what I was told in school. I must confess for a very brief period in school, I did switch over to the other side - that of Gandhi bashers (you see, talking peace and non violence were for wimps and I did not want to be one).
As I read more about this man, what struck me most was his stubbornness of holding on to a principle no matter what the odds. My respect turned into awe. He was fighting a political cause and yet today one can still find books on him in the 'Philosophy' section. It is common to hear Indians referring to 'Rama, Krishna, Gandhi and Buddha' in the same breath. Remember, the other three are generally regarded as Gods and we have a politician creeping into this list.
Christians believe that Christ died on the cross for our sins. As a non-christian, I have not been able to really comprehend that line of thinking. But when I think of Gandhi and how he was killed by someone with an outlook a lot more limited than his, I can understand what christian thought implies.
Once during a short visit to Sydney, on my way back to the Sydney Airport, I tried chatting up with the cab driver who happened to be Turkish and I mentioned about the Australia India cricket match that was being played that day. His reaction was something I least expected, he got pretty wild at cricket, cursing(using some flowery invectives) that this was a game invented by the British and questioned how as an Indian and having been subjugated by them can I still retain love for their game.
The hatred that this man had towards the British is something that I can never share. Violence always leaves a bitter relationship that persists across a much longer time period than the violence itself. Today, if Indians do not harbour animosity towards the British, it is simply because of the efforts of one man who had the courage to act different.
The India today though, still has it's moods of violence, a lot of mess that existed before continues to exist now. The silver lining is that if in spite of all the rot the Indian society is steeped in, if we can have a Gandhi coming out of it, then we must be doing something right.
In 1948 the Nobel Committee decided not to award the Nobel Peace Prize to anyone on the grounds that "there was no suitable living candidate". Gandhi not being awarded the Nobel prize is perhaps the best thing that the Nobel committee has done. Awarding him would have been like trying to measure the earth with a foot long scale.
I do believe that Gandhi was not correct in all his stands and he made his set of mistakes as well but what he did achieve and advocate were far greater than his failures.
Strength comes not from the ability to destroy but from the ability to protect and there in lies the greatness of this man.
Come back Bapu, we need you now as much we have ever needed you before...
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
A paradigm shift
In the corporate world of hectic activity and perpetual deadlines, it is always a challenge to keep expectations realistic and ensure that employees have some time for themselves. Work-life balance is an oft heard term to define this line between public and private time. In pursuit of this balance, some limit themselves to merely "doing their job" as defined by their roles.
Individual capability will vary but what is important is that each of us should add value to the system. Every small job well done will add that much more credibility to the system and greatly improves the quality perception about the individual and the establishment as a whole.
Perceptions (like stereotypes) are built at a micro level but are applied at the macro level. When you walk into a restaurant and the waiter at your table is rude, the conclusion that you would draw is that this restaurant is no good. One single incident by one badly behaved waiter is enough to trigger a general conclusion about the whole restaurant. What holds good for an eat-out holds good for a corporate and a country (of course the number of experiences with a corporate or within a country are orders of magnitude greater than an eatery and one single incident may not cause as much harm as it would to a smaller establishment. However the fundamentals are the same).
In effect, each of us has to realize that we do not just do a job, we create an experience for somebody else and the quality of that experience is going to determine the perception about the company that we work for and if, like me, you are in a country where work has been outsourced to, then it creates a perception about the country as well.
Work-life balance is important but keep in mind that just like your personal life, your work too is based on creating positive experiences for the people who have a stake in what you do (be it customers, your team members or anybody else). This will help build credibility about you and about the system that you work in.
We should stop looking at ourselves as defined by the roles of our jobs (say as software developers or project managers or waiters or salesmen and so on) but instead look at the kind of experience that our roles allow us to create for the stake holders. We should see ourselves as 'experience providers' and act accordingly.
This is the paradigm shift that we should bring about in ourselves.
Individual capability will vary but what is important is that each of us should add value to the system. Every small job well done will add that much more credibility to the system and greatly improves the quality perception about the individual and the establishment as a whole.
Perceptions (like stereotypes) are built at a micro level but are applied at the macro level. When you walk into a restaurant and the waiter at your table is rude, the conclusion that you would draw is that this restaurant is no good. One single incident by one badly behaved waiter is enough to trigger a general conclusion about the whole restaurant. What holds good for an eat-out holds good for a corporate and a country (of course the number of experiences with a corporate or within a country are orders of magnitude greater than an eatery and one single incident may not cause as much harm as it would to a smaller establishment. However the fundamentals are the same).
In effect, each of us has to realize that we do not just do a job, we create an experience for somebody else and the quality of that experience is going to determine the perception about the company that we work for and if, like me, you are in a country where work has been outsourced to, then it creates a perception about the country as well.
Work-life balance is important but keep in mind that just like your personal life, your work too is based on creating positive experiences for the people who have a stake in what you do (be it customers, your team members or anybody else). This will help build credibility about you and about the system that you work in.
We should stop looking at ourselves as defined by the roles of our jobs (say as software developers or project managers or waiters or salesmen and so on) but instead look at the kind of experience that our roles allow us to create for the stake holders. We should see ourselves as 'experience providers' and act accordingly.
This is the paradigm shift that we should bring about in ourselves.
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